Category: Satire

UPS and USPS Working Together? A Joke.

Update: Check the end for the latest

I ordered something from NewEgg. It was a very small item – 0.28 lbs. And they shipped it for free via UPS and USPS “Innovations”.

Here are the tracking pages both from NewEgg and  From UPS. I’m sure the NewEgg page is just an automatic digest from the UPS data, so NewEgg is not the issue here. But notice the route and expected delivery date reported by UPS. What a JOKE.

So the service that UPS is using here is called USPS Innovations, which is apparently a service where UPS gets to use USPS for the “Last Mile” delivery of the package to save the UPS driver from driving to my home. No problem. But there are two nonsense things with UPS reporting of the tracking and delivery times for this service.

  1. UPS sends the package from California to near FREAKING Seattle Washington, before sending it back to me in Oregon 1/3 of the way from California to Washington. In other words, a thousand miles out of it’s way.
  2. UPS reports that it’s only going to take USPS less than a day to get it almost 400 miles from Fife, WA, near Seattle to me in Coos Bay.

So either, UPS just made a mistake about how long it would take USPS to deliver on that last mile – eh hem last 400 miles.

Continue reading “UPS and USPS Working Together? A Joke.”

News from an Alternate Universe

<Crackle… crackle…>

Attention! Attention! A message is arriving from an Alternate Universe.

<Crackle… crackle…>
This is an announcement from Blizzard on the Azerite Radio Network.

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As we know, Azerite was discovered in Silithus some time ago. But there has been <crackle…. crackle> a new discovery by the Gnomes and Goblins about how to use this magical substance. Azerite can now be used to travel throughout the Worlds of Warcraft.

Continue reading “News from an Alternate Universe”

Dragon Wars

Cataclysm-deathwing-world-of-warcraft.jpgThe weakened and bloodied Red Oracle Dragon flew off after the latest battle and called cynically over it’s shoulder, “You won this battle, but your Open Sorcery is now tainted! I shall return!”.
The battle had been going on for decades. The Red Oracle Dragon and the Green Google Dragon fighting over the Sorcery of the Java. This magic had once been powerful, but now even this powerful magic was leaking away into the ether. Once it was seen as a saving force for good and a powerful influence that would consolidate the power of it’s creator, the Yellow Sun Dragon. At the time, the power of the Yellow dragon was fading. It’s Solaris and Server Magic was fading, as all magic powers do in time.

The world was moving on to the great Intel Blue Dragon and the Yellow force of the Solaris magic was no long powerful enough. But the Java Magic was seen as a force that might control this loss of influence, since the Java magic was Crystal Color Independent. The Java Magic would draw power from any color of magic chips, since it’s power was Interpreted by the color of crystal that was nearby. Using this multi-color magic was seen as the way to revitalize the magic of the Yellow Dragon. Continue reading “Dragon Wars”

Watch out for Bogus Chart Scales

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A Completely Bogus Chart

Here’s a completely bogus chart that was displayed on the Yahoo News site yesterday. Every line has a different scale. What can a chart mean where every line has a different scale? What does it tell you?

Probably not what you think it tells you. Be careful, news folks apparently are playing fast and loose with intelligence and logic in this election year.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

YahooChartFixed_1.png
Chart with Corrected Bars Added

Update: Here is the chart corrected with bars with a constant scale added. Of course the Democratic and Republican scales are different because their “to win” numbers are different. But as you can see by looking at the bars I’ve added below each original bar, the original bars are drawn with different scales. The added bars are all scaled to the “to win” maximums.

Why would Clinton and Trump show at about 50% when they have than 80% of the delegates required? And why would Sanders, Cruz and Kasich be scaled lower than they should be?

It’s not clear what message the original chart was trying to get across, but it’s clearly misleading.

: ww

TurPunkenClaus – For the Lazy Holiday Decorator

I like to decorate for the Holidays, but I’m a lazy decorator. I’d like to have a single yard ornament to put up before Halloween and remove after new years. I’ve designed the perfect thing. You might call it one of several things and you might make it in various ways.

TurPunkenClaus

Continue reading “TurPunkenClaus – For the Lazy Holiday Decorator”